Mission Impossible: Getting My Teeth Cleaned in 2020

The name is Bond. Pandemic Bond. My mission: To get my teeth cleaned.

For the past week, I’ve been getting untraceable texts reminding me of my appointment, and also, that there will be a $10 extra fee to “ensure we are able to take every precaution possible in keeping you healthy!” It also says they’ll bill my insurance, but I know Blue Crap Blue Shit Insurance isn’t paying their price-gouging fee so I guess that’ll be my problem.

I pull up to the dentist’s office and text the number, since this is the only way to…