I’ve Been a Germaphobe Since Before Covid-19 Was a Gleam in a Bat’s Eye, and You People Are Doing Everything Wrong

And by “you people,” I mean everyone who just figured out germs spread disease and handwashing helps. Hey, welcome to the twenty-first century. I’d shake your hand but you might have cooties. Vulcan Live Long and Prosper hand signal from six feet away instead? Cool.