I’m Covid-19, and Trump is a Hoax Who Will Miraculously Go Away After November 3

Hey, Covid-19 here, and I gotta set the record straight: Donald J. Trump, formerly my biggest supporter, is lying when he says he has me. Do you know why?

Because Trump is a hoax invented by Influenza to make me look bad! He’s not real! Influenza is just jealous because of how much I keep WINNING. I’ve been winning so much, I’m getting sick of it! JK! I’ve been told my puns make people sick, too. Can I get a drum roll? No? Well, anyway….